As a Paediatric Oncology Nurse & doing something I truly love from the start, I tell parents what I feel as a nurse, as a human being, as a woman & try filling in their shoes as parents (I know it's not the same as being parents yourself cos I am not a parent YET)..
Parents worry about their children everyday. If the child get sick, parents get panicky. Who wouldn't? With all the silly, nonsensical, God-knows-what VIRUSES, PARASITES, FUNGUS, BACTERIAS, parents have every right to worry.
I try to keep it real as possible, and only tell them what they want to know. Nothing more unless indicated. It's not good to overwhelm parents too much information at one go. Because they're already trying to cope with the fact that their child has Cancer. So give them what they need..Most importantly, give them TIME..they need it most. Remember, not all parents accept the news the way u want them to.. As a nurse, be patient.
1. Cancer is not contagious and they must not try to seperate the child with his/her other siblings just because he/she has cancer. It is NOT AIDS.
2. Parents shouldn't blame themselves when they're child has cancer. For what? For their past mistakes? Thinking God wanna give them retribution or curse them? Hmmm, think again..
3. Most childhood cancer can be cured because CHILDREN BEING CHILDREN. They're extremely resilient. You'll be suprised that the kids are so much stronger than adults.
4. Your child is different from other people's child. Even with the same diagnosis. So you can take all the experience they have about their child but don't compare. Comparing will only make you feel less competent. And feeling negative is so not the way to go.
5. Give yourself time. To learn to cope with the disease. But you must tell yourself TO COPE WITH THE SITUATION. Because if you start to fall apart, don't expect your child to be extremely strong. Your child needs you to recover his/her strength again.
6. Encourage your child. Talk to him/her that you're going to be there with him/her. So that he/she won't feel alone & debilitated. Touch him/her. Actions speaks louder than words.
7. Don't threaten your child "If you're not gonna eat your medicine, the dr/nurses gonna poke you with a needle". Hello? Not helping w the situation, here. They're already so afraid of the freaking needle, do you need to make them feel that way? And we don't like feeling that we're such bad people.
8. Know that the effects of chemotherapy are going to change your child physically & emotionally. Extremely important. So you don't be shocked by your child's sudden tantrums or becomes darker.
9. Take a break if you have to. Even when you tell me no, I know you want to badly. You're a human not a machine. You can't go on 24/7, 365 days. You know you have to be strong for your child. So you need to have short break for yourself so you don't fall flat on your face. Burn-out is a horrible thing.
10. Be hopeful, have faith, hold on to what you got. It is what keeps you going everyday. Not the medicine, not the doctors, not the situation. It's hope.Be a nurse but be a human being. What you don't see, doesn't mean it's not there.Who says being a nurse is easy?
Contributed by:
SN Nurul AshirinSenior Staff NurseKKH
